Travelling from the NICU to a more local SCN (Special Care Nursery) in ambulance was surreal. I was reminiscent of the journey I had previously made yet a few days before, with baby still in belly. This time, he was out in the wide world, already confronted with many challenges a newborn naturally shouldn’t face.
It wasn’t long until we were all settled in our new SCN home. Daily routines of bathing, feeding, nappy changing and cares took over our days and each day rolled into one. Each day our son was getting stronger and we were proud of how far he had come.
Although we had become content in our new lives, leaving Flynn at the hospital every night to go home was heartbreaking,over and over again. There wasn’t a day I left the hospital without crying. I had to be positive and remind myself how truly lucky we were and that we had a beautiful little boy to come back to every morning.
Arriving at the hospital one morning and walking in to see Flynn had been promoted and was out of the humidicrib was such an amazing feeling. The midwives were happy with his breathing and temperature control, and were confident with his feeding and weight gain. At last I could hold his hand without having to put my arm through a glass barrier. I could hold him and kiss him as much as I wanted. I had waiting for this day for weeks. Unfortunately for some mothers, this process can take much longer. I appreciated the privilege we had.
Another transfer to a different hospital saw yet another trip via patient transfer, however, this time he was in a regular baby vehicle capsule. He was so small that the midwives had to fill the gaps around him with baby wraps and adjust the straps to their absolute minimum.
We spent more time in another SCN and each day Flynn was making progress. The aim was to have him on all ‘suck feeds’ so that the tube could be taken out. As this achievement was getting closer I began to stay at the hospital and spend my first couple of nights with my son. After weeks in hospitals and having to leave him at the end of every day, I finally got a taste of what it would be like to have him home.
After another week or so, success! The midwives were happy with Flynn’s progress and gave us the green light to take him home. We have our happy ending. I acknowledge those who aren’t so lucky and pray that they will experience the same amount of joy as we did in bringing their baby home.
Flynn is now a toddler and is definitely a busy boy. You wouldn’t know he is a premmie baby by looking at him. He is a healthy, active boy who brings happiness to everyone that meets him! Being a mother is certainly the hardest thing I have ever done and will do in my life, but I really do feel that this is where I belong in life.
I wonder if I am ready to do it all again…?